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Formative Friends and the Future You

“Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends…”

- The Beatles

The exceptional show of support from my awesome friends at Success Along the Weigh and their readers got me thinking about the power of the people we choose to let in our lives. I would argue that the folks we surround ourselves with are the second most powerful force in shaping who we are today and who we will become tomorrow (the first being what we believe about ourselves – more on that in a later post).

Those that are closest to us share in our successes, our dreams, and help cope with our failures. And, with the exception of family, we have the ability to choose who these people are. The feedback we receive from our friends, co-workers, and others we interact with on a daily basis all play a part in shaping what we tell ourselves. I wouldn’t be typing these words if it wasn’t for several incredible friends (including the Mr. & Mrs.) who, when I told them I had this idea to start a blog, were encouraging and told me what a great idea they thought it was. My friend David even came up with the name, “A Schorr Thing”, right there on the spot. Had they responded differently, I probably wouldn’t have started the process that led me here to write this post.

Think about the people you surround yourself with. Are they supportive of you and your dreams? Are they positive? Do they want to help you and see you succeed?

Of course there will always be negative people, some of whom may be family. What I’m suggesting is that you don’t give those people sanction to influence your life. Allow the positive supporters voices to outweigh the negative ones. Good news!!! You get to choose who you let in and what you believe.

We all have amazing power and potential. Seek out those that will help you uncover that power and who will nurture that potential. Ignore the others. Easier said than done, I know. But I know you can do it, if you want to.

Have an incredible week all!

 

  • Absolutely! If there is one thing I have learned over the years it’s that you will always have naysayers in your life and sometimes that behavior comes from what you might think would be an unlikely source, such as family, etc. Your advice is spot on. Just learn to filter out the negative and focus on the things that you can trust and learn from in order to move forward in life.

    The Mr

    January 9, 2012

  • Thanks again for the support Mr!

    jeff

    January 13, 2012

  • No truer words were spoken! I am so thrilled you have people supporting you on this endeavor, it’s a worthy one for sure. There is no bigger eye opener than when you take a risk that most people won’t take and see their reactions. Even in the every day things we tend to take for granted in normal relationships.

    I have had people and co-workers in my life that have either made me feel less than (supposed best friend) or were such emotional vampires (co-worker, asking the same advice for 3 years in a row & never listening to any of it) that all I ever did was question myself. “Why does my friend never want to hang out with me outside of school?” or “my advice is the same as 20 others co-workers advice, but she doesn’t take it” and somehow it always felt like it was personal against me. I had to end up cutting these two people out of my life because of how completely worthless I ended up feeling around them. It was painful where the friend was concerned but sadly I hear she hasn’t changed much and I’m so different than the person I was then. It almost makes me feel bad for people who choose to stay in their circumstances of negativity because they will always stay stunted while those of us who move forward toward change for the better will grow like bamboo. Taller, stronger and able to bend without breaking! (Ooh, how guru of me!)

  • I’m thrilled to have people like you and the Mr. supporting me! And very guru, my dear Mrs!!!

    jeff

    January 13, 2012

  • I love this! I’m a friend of the MRS and so glad she provided a link to this. I have been struggling with this concept myself. I have a lot of really great friends and some not so good ones. Over the last year or so I have been really thinking about who I want in my life and who I don’t. Who I want to spend my energy on and who is worth that time. I have so little free time (between working full time and school) I don’t want to waste it on people who don’t have my best interest at heart. Plus I have plenty of negative people in my family so I don’t have room elsewhere :)

    Buffy

    January 9, 2012

  • Thank you for coming by Buffy! I’m glad you came by and enjoyed the post. Sounds like your on the right path! Keep it up :)

    jeff

    January 13, 2012

  • The battle to weed out the toxic people in my life has taken me a lifetime… and I struggle still… because ‘family’ IS a special sort of challenge. I haven’t yet found a way to eliminate the painful and negative without denying myself the things which I hold dear and those in which I want my daughter to also have a share. Not everyone has the strength, or the inclination, to elimiate the same toxicity… and to be fair, perhaps they aren’t so eaily poisoned.

    In the rest of my life, choosing carefullly who I let in has been my salvation, my joy, and the grace which nurtures me toward the person I am created to be. I’ve had three simple rules for anyone who wants to remain in my association and have any sort of sanction in my life: together we must always laugh more than we cry, we each have to carry and manage our own trash… no dumping, and we each have to be willing to rise to the challenge of being better people as life allows/invites.

    The only time my life has been a disappointment, and a hardship, has been on the two occassions when I broke one of these rules… and on the one stellar occasion when I broke all three with respect to one person, lol. Any calouses on my heart are from not guarding it well.

    This was a great entry, Jeff! THANK YOU!

    Blessings,
    ramona

    ramona

    January 9, 2012

  • Thank you so much for your kind words ramona! I’m glad this post resonated with you. Unfortunately sometimes we have to learn the hard way. Those lessons are the ones we never forget.

    jeff

    January 13, 2012

  • I commented earlier but apparently it didn’t submit properly. It’s definitely something I can relate to. I had a lot of friends and family against me when I first met the Mrs. They were afraid I was too young, etc but ultimately it was because they were jealous of the time I was spending with her and not them. My best friend at the time gave me an ultimatum: Break up with her or I will never speak to you again. We’d known each other since we were 6 and I could hardly believe it but I realized right then that this was not someone I needed to align my future with after that. To this day I think he still wonders why he wasn’t invited to the wedding.

    Anyway, you never know where the support will come from so it’s important to learn to take it when it does come and if all you get from certain people is negativity then a little weeding is in order.

    The Mr.

    January 9, 2012

  • I’m sorry to hear about your friend. It’s unfortunate that he couldn’t share in your happiness. But what you and the Mrs. have shared and done is so incredible! I’m glad you both have chosen to share your light with the world!

    jeff

    January 13, 2012

  • Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with a few pics to drive the message home a little bit, but instead of that, this is wonderful blog. An excellent read. I’ll certainly be back.

    Kandace Klien

    May 29, 2012

  • Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wished to say that I’ve really enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. After all I will be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again very soon!

    Alline Moling

    May 30, 2012

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