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Fear & the New Year


“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”

 - Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

Yesterday I was having breakfast with friends, a married couple, I hadn’t seen in a long time. These are two incredible folks on their own journey to change themselves for the better and they have been a hugely positive influence on me.

In the course of our conversation we came to blogs (she’s a blogger) and how I hadn’t updated anything on here in a long time. As we talked about it, I came to realize that the reason I’ve neglected my blog is simple – I’m afraid. I fear that my writing will suck, that no one will read, that I’m not interesting enough, that I’ll be laughed at, that I’ll fail. But more than that, if I’m really honest with myself, my true fear is of…success.

I’m afraid that if I really put effort into this that I may actually have an effect. That I may be able to help and inspire others on their path. But if I just talk about it and plan for it and get everything just so, then I can continue to hide and everything will be the same; comfy cozy and just fine. And in that comfort growth dies and any progress I’ve made is reversed.

Recently a lot of what I’ve been reading, listening to, and randomly stumbling across has been about fear and overcoming it. I’m going to take the opportunity this new year to change my relationship with my fear. I’m going to use fear as a guidepost. But instead of running from that fear, I’m going to charge full force into it. Fear will now be compass pointing towards, not away.

So, this post is my first step. Maybe my writing will suck, no one will read, I’m not that interesting and maybe you will laugh. But I will conquer my fear.

All the best for your 2012!

 

 

 

  • I cannot tell you the positive effect you had on us as well. We walked away that day feeling like we could do anything. As we came back to our reality today and I hit the scale and saw what much (planned) imbibing had done, I started to feel that same old despair I always felt when I let myself down. Then I came here and I’m crying tears of happiness and dammit, you beat me to blogging about our time together, ya punk!

    I am SO excited for your plans for the coming year and I think your change is going to be so far reaching you can’t even fathom it. We’ll be cheering you along the whole way and there is nothing to fear because YOU are awesome and we are forever changed for the better by knowing you!

  • You have a positive effect on people and that is never something to be afraid of. It was great to see you and I am looking forward to so many great posts from you this year. I can’t wait to hear about all the adventures you’ve got planned and it is going to be a great year!

    The Mr.

    January 3, 2012

  • Thank you both so much! Seeing you both was an awesome way to start the end of 2011. Here’s to an incredible year for all of us!

    jeff

    January 3, 2012

  • Hi, I came here after reading about you in the Mrs. blog and I am really glad I did. Your comments about fear really struck a nerve with me. I need to make some changes in my life and fear is holding me back. I am going to work on facing it and making those changes. I am really looking forward to reading more of your blogs.

    Debbie

    January 5, 2012

  • Thanks so much Debbie – I can’t tell you how much the support means to me!

    jeff

    January 6, 2012

  • The Mrs sent me and if she thinks you’re awesome, you must be! I look forward to seeing how your year progresses……..

    Dawn

    January 5, 2012

  • Thanks Dawn! I have high hopes for 2012! Hopefully yours is happy and prosperous, as well.

    jeff

    January 6, 2012

  • I was sent here by The Mrs. I am glad that she had someone outside all of her “followers” tell her how wonderful that she is. I think your words will help give her what she needs to not be so hard on herself.

    Fear, it can be a paralyzing thing. I think so many of us who blog always wonder if anyone will even read what we have to say. I blog mainly for myself so that I can get my thoughts down. I don’t blog on a consistent basis because of laziness. Then I feel like, “Well, no one’s reading it anyway, so I’m not letting anyone down.” According to The Mrs., you have some big plans in the works. I would just like to wish you much success with them.

    It's Me

    January 5, 2012

  • Thanks so much for your wishes and kind words! I think we’re all hardest on ourselves and need others to help us keep perspective. The Mrs is great and has such an inspiring story to tell, I’m glad you found her and glad you stopped by here!

    jeff

    January 6, 2012

  • I came here on the advice of Mrs Success Along the Weigh. Change is hard…I was afraid to try for 30 years and ended up wasting most of my adult life being super morbidly obese. Two years ago I decided I HAD to make some changes or face an early demise from complications of obersity. I proceeded to lose over 180 lbs. It’s the best thing I ever did for myself. I wish I hadn’t been so afraid of change for all those years! Glad to hear you’re going for it NOW! Good luck!

    Pam

    January 5, 2012

  • Congratulations Pam! That’s incredible! It’s never to late to make a change. Each day gives us another opportunity to strive to be the best possible versions of ourselves. And thank you for your words of encouragement!!!

    jeff

    January 6, 2012

  • Hi! I’m a friend of the Mrs. and I thought I’d come check you out!

    The Marianne williamson quote is one of my favourites, and ironically enough, I could be writing this blog post, LOL!

    I started my blog, got everything set up, wrote a little, then choked. A contributing factor is that a person I would prefer not have a lot of access to my life started following me around the www and keeps popping up just when I start to relax a bit.

    So, I’ve retreated to a safer venue for a bit to think things through.

    I’m glad you’re back. From the little I’ve read, you have a gentle yet powerful way of expresing yourself and I loook forward to more. With the Mr. & Mrs. behind you, how could you go wrong?

    Sincerely,
    ramona

    ramona

    January 5, 2012

  • Thank you Ramona! I’m sorry to hear that you’re having that trouble. And you’re right, its hard to overstate the value of having supportive, positive people (like the Mr & Mrs) on your side!

    jeff

    January 6, 2012

  • The Mrs. led me your way and hey any blogger friend of hers has got to be pretty darned awesome.
    Your fear is valid.. I get it.. I do.. I think that that fear is a natural part of making a change.
    like you, I’ve neglected my blog.. for one reason or another.. I’m looking forward to starting again.. if nothing else, than just for me :)

    Congratulations on realizing your fear and getting up the nerve to conquer it! I look forward to reading what you have to say

    Jessica

    January 5, 2012

  • Thanks Jessica! There’s no better time than now to get restarted! Let me know when you get back to it – I’d love to check it out!

    jeff

    January 6, 2012

  • Okay….I’m a HUGE fan of the Mr. & Mrs…..so I’m jumping on board this train to positive town. ♥

    Jessica

    January 5, 2012

  • The Mr & Mrs are great! Thanks for coming by!!!

    jeff

    January 6, 2012

  • Congratulations on your push past fear, and here is to bringing about positive change for yourself and others. Like people gravitate towards each other, and with you, the Mrs. and the Mr., who knows what kind of great things will happen!

    Cheezchik32

    January 5, 2012

  • Thanks so much for stopping by Cheezchik32! I think 2012 holds great things for us, if we take the opportunity.

    jeff

    January 6, 2012

  • First, I love the title of your blog. Second, your writing is fine, stop worring. I am a high school teacher and honestly you have no idea what bad writing is and I mean horrible. I have students who can hardly write two sentences. So let that go. Third, I have lived my entire life FEAR BASED. And because of it, I have lost out on so much. I think you are truly amazing to charge head long into your fears. I too am trying, but not enough to start a blog, maybe someday. I blog on SparkPeople and I blogged about the loss of my horse of 26 years and my cat of 16 years, but I doubt that anyone has read them. It is ok,they were for me to process my sadness. Oh and just to let you know, I have a Master’s in Education and I struggle with spelling. Mostly because I am dyslexic. I used to think my degree was a mistake and that someone would come take it away, but they never did, probably b/c I really did earn it or they just don’t care. keep up the great work and keep blogging!!!

    Deborah

    January 5, 2012

  • Thank you Deborah! It sounds like you have quite the inspiring story yourself. I appreciate you taking the time to stop by!

    jeff

    January 6, 2012

  • Awesome blog. I think so many of us have this fear of success and how it might change our lives. We want so much to stay in our comfort zone. Here’s to your moving out of your comfort zone. I am walking into the future the same way. Let’s shake things up a little!

    Debbie

    January 6, 2012

  • Thank you Debbie! Cheers to shaking things up!!!

    jeff

    January 6, 2012

  • Hi, there. The Mrs gave word about your blog, and I’m so glad I read it. I smiled when I read about your fear of success, only because I’d written a blog about that very same subject about a year ago. I have this whole self-fulfilling prophesy thing and keep the negative fear going like a hamster wheel in my mind. I’ve likened it to having a defect, so now I tell myself to “stop practicing the defect!” I think much of it has to do with not having a clue what living with success looks like or feels like. I’ve been called *half-measure* my whole life, so success never actually meant much to me because it was a *given* that I couldn’t have that. But we do the best we can with the circumstances we’ve been given; when we know better, we do better. And it sounds like you are ready to take your fear in your hand and use it as a walking stick to get you to where you want to be. I think that is just awesome! Big steps, small steps, maybe even crawling a bit here and there on the rougher days…all of it will be a learning tool for you as you find the freedom to be yourself…and a successful self at that. Wishing you joy and discovery on every single step of this new journey for you!

    Shannon

    January 6, 2012

  • Thank you for coming by and for sharing Shannon! I appreciate the advice and the encouragement.

    jeff

    January 8, 2012

  • I came to check out your blog because of the Mrs. too. I totally understand the fear of success. I’m working on getting past that this year too…seems to be a goal for a lot more people than I thought. I just wish I would’ve started working on it sooner. It makes me feel better to know I’m not the only one. Good luck to you!!!!

    Sarah

    January 7, 2012

  • Thanks Sarah! I think we all wish we would have started sooner, but what really matters is we’re doing something now! Best luck to you in 2012, as well!

    jeff

    January 8, 2012

  • Hi, Jeff. I’m late to the party, a perpetual fault of mine, but I too am a fan of the Mrs., come to see what the fuss is all about. I’ve read all the comments and can relate to most of them. What struck me most was Shannon’s post, and then I realized I might have something to contribute. When one finally begins to realize that ‘success’ is not a destination, it becomes clear that it is nothing to fear. Here’s the definition of success I subscribe to (not my own invention, but one that makes sense to me): Success is consistent progress toward a worthy goal. Now, if you want to fear the GOAL, I’d say it’s the wrong one. (She says, facetiously.) Seriously, I’ve read not only this post but also the more recent ones…your writing is fine, and your subject is interesting. Keep on blogging!

    Cheri

    January 9, 2012

  • I’m here via the Mr. and Mrs. They have been a huge inspiration to me. If you’ve been inspiring to THEM, I want to read here, too. I’ve bookmarked you and I will be visiting frequently! Thanks for being here!

    Emily

    January 9, 2012

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